revealing (for you)

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She revealed inspiration 

In colors black and blue
She did it
With a mess only she can make beautiful
Throw in a hurricane
You’ll have what I call “my mine’s effect” 
You’ll fight her 
She’s exhausting 
But what good is comfort when it numbs every vein in your body? 
Let me be exhausted. 
Let me feel her mess.
Let me read words I see in eyes that had  never before spoken. 
Hear them speak
In a language known only to me 
They’ll reveal a secret she never even knew she harboured.
I remembered when she told me I’m a calming presence. 
I think she liked saying it
I bet she meant it too
I hated that word 
Calm is final 
Finality is numbness 
To be numb is to be a body without a soul
And she 
She is my soul revealed in a wrapping so beautiful it cannot be human flesh. 
I don’t want to be calming. 
I want to be her hurricane
Just like she is mine. 
I want to drive her crazy
Make her wish to die 
Just so I get to catch her 
Seconds before her wish reaches the heavens 
I want her living at the edge of her seat 
And I want to be at the other end pushing her off the cliff 
I want to watch her fly 
Just like I know she can 
She’ll land on me And with a thud 
She’ll reveal 
That little secret 
I always knew she hid 
I am not calming.

And she never wanted me to be.

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