stickers

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When you ate fruit in my bed you took off the stickers and placed them on my wall next to you. I never touched them. Someone picked them off from the paint today. I had just been in a car accident and screamed at them in a panic to stop. They said the stickers could peel the paint, off of the wall, that it looked tacky, and continued scraping. My head hurts from the impact; did I mention it was a hit and run? All too similar, you asked if I was all right and then you left in such a hurry, I never even had a chance to breathe.

I wrote once that getting to know you was like finding the pieces of myself I lost, what was it about you that was so familiar? It felt less like I was getting to know you and more like I was remembering who you are, maybe its just the migraine but I still see now how every smile, every hand movement and every whisper only brought me to the conclusion that I have known you before, that I have loved you before, in another time, a different place, maybe some other existence. I was grateful that you understood me, the way my mind worked. It was just too easy being with you, like it was walking down the street today, knowing that you’ll fill in the gaps when I couldn’t explain something, not even to myself, you spoke to my mind and my heart reacted, kind of like a collision of separate worlds, you were my best best friend, the soul mate people took time to write poetry about, and I had that, for a second I had that, for one second, I no longer had anything to wish for. You gave me everything I ever wanted, I hate that you did that, but you did. The apartment was filled with you and I couldn’t seem to think of a single thing I craved then, I seemingly had it all, except I wanted more, I don’t want everyone else to be you, I just want you in my life, I wanted to be loved by you long before I ever knew a you existed among these Adams and Eves. This might seem out of the blue, but you never know when a hit a run can get you, my body’s bruised and I cant help but think for a second it hit me and my head started to spin and my body temperature ran high and I felt like a million roller coasters ran through me, but for a second, right before you put each sticker on my wall, you were the family I never had, you were everything that I am, only now I get to write a love story the way it was meant to be written, a tragedy. As I lay on your side of what used to be my safety, I think, maybe, I don’t like hit and runs so much.

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