a simple irrational story.

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I want to tell you a story
Of the day
I wrote you into my existence,
I want to watch your face as I recite words of true beauty
A collaboration of sentences, that can only be described as you,
Magnificently,
Breathtakingly
You.
My descriptions will somehow always come short,
My words, will never be enough,
Just try this with me.
Shut your eyes,
I promise you’ll see more clearly if you do.
Because maybe when I tell you,
How you added something interesting to who I was,
Who I am..
How you made me believable,
How you turned me into the truth,
How you gave me something to fight for,
How for the first time,
I stayed ..
Maybe if you knew,
How with these humble words,
I let go of all my aches,
so you’d burden me with your own.
I’ll consume the sun and moon just to glow for you
Just to be on my way to mending your broken shell,
To making you whole again.
Just listen to our story,
Maybe you’ll see as clear as me,
It began with a request met halfway,
And just like that, I wrote you into my existence.
Placed you where you fit,
Along the folds of my body,
Right at the palm of my hand,
Grasping you to the infinite phenomenon that is us.
Tide to my existence you’ll stay. For as long as I breathe,
I exist.
And as long as I exist,
I am yours.
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bowing out, to fate.

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the look on your face 
when your skin touched hers;
you used to look at me like that.
 
i’ve forgotten how much you loved me.
it seems, 
i’ve forgotten how much i loved, being her.
 
hear me as i plead,
listen to my howls,
outside your door
i beg of you.
 
if love is what you feel
my sweet,
don’t let me in.
 
open that door
my angel,
and i will.
 
i will crawl in.
 
no longer have i the strength 
to bow out bravely.
 
you open that door 
my love,
i will claw my way through her.
 
i’ll be kicking 
fighting 
screaming 
to the very end.
 
tell her
 
i can fix anything.
 
give me a war and i’ll fix it. 
 
but, tell her 
 
i could never seem to fix 
the fact that i,
am so breathlessly 
in love
with you.
 
kindly let her know;
I am giving her the days.
 
the days with you
the days to come  
the days i can’t have.
 
take them, please.
 
I am giving you, 
my days.
 
just you remember;
i will always be your fix.
 
i will , forever be 
your perfect fit.
 
with no more days, left 
to give
let me flare
and fade 
forever
from home.

for (you), to try and answer your questions.

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– why do you still care?

– i don’t know, i just do and i cant seem to help it.
there’s an infinite amount of ways to fall in love, and i think i sailed through most of them, other people could make me feel just as much, but you, you intoxicated me.
now, 3 years later  i still feel it, and 10 years from now, i’ll still feel it brewing inside of me.
we might not be together, we might stop making sense, yet still, you’ll always have me, that’s the sad logic that is us.
i can’t tell you i love you anymore, because what i feel for you defies those words and every word created by man.
i can no longer find any use for that word after you, what more can it possibly mean to me?
i can be with millions, i can love a thousand of them and i’ll leave them all just the same, but you, you’re stuck in my mind and that’s a million miles deeper than those fools stuck in my heart, you run in my veins, like the blood i carry with me, just as red, just as beautiful and just as essential for my very existence.
so yea, i still care.
i’ll always care.