neither friend or foe, is what i have in you.

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a hundred times a day, i say im done.

a thousand times a week i say im through.
a million times a month i let go of you.
and an infinite number of times a second i come back to you.
i run
i sprint
as light as feather.
with the speed of a stallion
i stumble upon my own fake promises
and i still find my way back
to the very place
i got to meet destruction.
you hold me without touch
you imprison me without gates
set me free
let me live
leave me be.
you’re not even here and i go back to our place
you’re not even present and i sneak a peak at our future
you flatter me with details of all your latest affairs
you call me special and i call you my own
this isnt healthy
this isnt fair
i need my sanity
i dont want to fall another moment into your beauty
i need you to have me spared
let me go
let me breath in the air of new
let me meet my match someplace they’ve never heard of you
i smell you in the roses i despise
though i
cant seem to let you go
i see you in the leafs of my favorite orchids
i confuse even myself when it comes to you
here i am
always running back to you
spare me though
set me free
let me go
let me be
let me breath in the air of new
dont reach for me
you know i’ll be there
i know i’ll be there
and we’ll both know i’ll want to
and what a horrifying image that would be
when darkness comes upon you
and showers you with fear and insanity
you’ll give until you get
and then you seem to run out of giving
its disgusting to behold
and disturbing to be a part of
if you forget the way to go
if the night seems endless
and when the morning never comes to be
if no one is standing beside you
i beg you to not shout for me
free me of your chains
be brave and know
that i was here
but i can’t be anymore
have mercy and go
and never come near.
i need to be done
i need to let go
and i need to say it a million times more
i’ll believe my own fake lies
i’ll fake theire way into reality
or at least i’ll get to say i tried
hurry up and go
find your match in someone else
let them do the waiting
let them do the wishing
allow them to give you
without ever having the pleasure of taking
i cant be that person to you anymore
i refuse to be.
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