A knight to remember.

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With his head upon her lap, she watched the warrior as he slept.
Feeling a little more daring than she did the previous nights,
She indulged herself and her little cravings as she ran her fingers through his dark hair,
She then traced an old scar on his face, brokenheartedly wondering where it came from.
Growing a little weary, she continued to watch, as he sank even deeper into his slumber, hoping that one day, he would invite her into his world, and along his battlefields, where she would be given a chance, to save him, like he rescued her.
 
The dark sky watched over them, she was warm that dark December night, with an added exciting breeze. Safely watching the world down there she envied the littleness of mortals’ worlds. Yet, she could honestly say, she never really craved to be like them. 

She sighed as the beautiful girl’s heart broke, knowing, it ached to rescue the man she didn’t know she had already saved.

 

Angry and frustrated by the blindness of mortals, she decided to give the beautiful girl a gift, a very special gift she saved for only the mad ones that had magic, feeling generous, she gave the girl, 
The gift of true sight.
Like a shooting star it happened in mere seconds,
The words appeared written on his skin like nothing she’s ever seen before.
She saw the truth that night.
His truth.
All of it.
The sky continued to watch, with obvious glee and self-assured arrogance, as the beautiful girl fought to understand the things her eyes saw.
 
As he slept, her warrior with the dark hair,
She saw the secrets he hid only from her.
In the creases near his eyes,
She saw that she was his harbour.
His lips told tales, of a beautiful girl he loved to taste,
She blushed, and wouldn’t dare look away, because what she saw next,
Was something she couldn’t begin to fathom,
For his safe haven, was in the smell of her embrace.
And around his deepest scars, she saw, the one thing that scared her the most.
With her sudden gift of sight, she saw that she,
Was all that remained
Of his strength.
In a sudden moment of true clarity, she saw beyond his flesh wounds.
Letting it all hit her, she let go of all her burdens, only for the chance to bear his own.
This warrior,
This man,
Was already so deep inside of her, buried underneath her skin.
Finding his way into her bones, she knew he has become a necessity.
An opiate addiction clawing his way at whatever was left of her sanity.
She consumed all of him.
She couldn’t fight back.
She couldn’t get enough of him.
She didn’t seem to want to.
Because,
Out of all their burnt bridges,
Her sleeping warrior, built her an ash throne.
He built her a castle, fit for a queen,
She no longer needed any walls of her own.
At least,
Never around him.
When her heart became too heavy to carry,
He gave her his own, never asking for anything in return.
She vowed, with the sky as her witness, on a warm but breezy december night.
That she would spend the rest of her existence,
Finding ways, to always protect him.
To constantly be his anchor.
So she weaved her words like spider silk.
Wrapping it around them.

With every word, the silk grew tighter.
Until finally, it grew so tight, she couldn’t breathe.

She never knew how good it felt,
Not to breathe.

He woke up to the sensation of her skin.
She looked into the eyes of the man she vowed to protect,
and said;
“The bright days are gone, dearest.
We, are for the dark.
You gave me all the words.
Yes, you gave me my last attempt at alive.

Although, this time i’ll do it different.
Yes, this time I’ll do it right.

Because this time,
I have you.
 
My warrior of the night.”
Breathless and desperate for her, he didn’t know what to say to his beautiful girl.
A million words struggled on his lips, a lifetime’s worth of words.
“I don’t know what you are.” Was all he managed to breathe into her embrace.

“I am whatever is meant by all this chaos rioting through you.” She said.

“You can hear how loud my veins scream, can’t you?” He asked.
“My darling, 
I heard even the whisper of your cells, 
As they turned from air to fire in my arms, in a single night.” 
He couldn’t believe his senses.
Wrapped in silk, inhaling nothing but      her.
How she made him lose his words, he would never know.
For here laid a warrior that conquered worlds,
That defeated armies and beheaded many a demon.
He laid in the arms of a girl,
A beautiful girl,
That became his one true conqueror.
He felt a breeze interrupt his thoughts as she attempted to stand, unwrapping the silk.
Taking her hand, he ached to be back in her skin.
“Sit.” He ordered,
Allowing himself to breathe only the air he found, around her neck.
She felt his eyes trace her skin and she blushed.
Suddenly exhausted by the revelations of a single night,
Staying awake seemed too difficult for the girl.
Nevertheless, she obliged.
Sitting back down, she asked, “Will we sleep?”
“Sleep? 
 
Angel,     No. 
 
Find delirium? 
Yes, we most certainly will.”
He sealed his promise with a kiss,
The tormenting kind of kiss.
Writing vows with his tongue,
He told the girl he was hers.
He confessed, he was owned.

Looking down at both the warrior and the girl who brought him to his knees, even the sky gave them a silent applause. 

As she gifted them calmness, on the night she knew they wouldn’t soon forget, she then called for the stars asking them to watch over the girl and her warrior, for they are magic she said.

 

Taking a stroll across mortal lands, she went to deliver more of her gifts.

 


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i love you, but ..

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No one really knew how hard it was to hang onto the last threads of sanity, like you did when I first met you.

I don’t know how else to explain what happened to me, I was seduced by a nervous smile, and with an accidental brush of your hand I was hooked.

You seemed to understand, even my most unexplainable thoughts, like how I knew, that even you knew, I would forever wander within my own mind, lost deep at thought, never finding peace or serenity, even long after my last breath was drawn.

Getting to know you was like finding the parts of myself I lost in corners of this world, I looked into your eyes and saw the pain that they all missed. I held your heart in mine safe like its been there for quite a while, some other lifetime ago, I felt it part as it broke, I felt it crack like somehow it was shouting. Abandoning all pretences, crawling away from modesty, you hid beneath your wounds. It seemed the closer i got, and the more I touched, the clearer it became.  We were two angels wrapped in concrete. With our wounds being breathed back to life, they felt raw, they felt new.

My heartbeat stuttered under the sight of you, bared and disrobed, to me.
You were beautiful.
Shatteringlly so.
Your past, your scars, your fears, your troubled mind, your broken heart, your body, your present, your soul, your future. I wanted it all.
I really did.
And at some point my mind refused to be stilled and it seemed all I could think of, was to whisper loudly in silence:
 “Get your beautiful mouth over here” every chance I got.
And then we kissed.
A kiss so deep you didn’t know who was breathing for who.
So with everyday that passed, since then, I sat and I sighed and like always my mind meandered to you.Being around you felt natural, it made sense, it calmed me.
You tasted to me like the first seconds of love
Like, the last painstakingly long seconds of death.
I thought I’d fallen for your every gasp of breath.
I thought I was going insane. 
I thought nothing could ever make sense anymore.
I swear, attraction was too tame a word for .. That.
The craving for you, was so acute I knew you’d finally become a drug to my body. The prime source of some very intense highs I never seemed to have ever experienced before in all my lifetimes.The best part was that, I knew it wasn’t just me, I saw myself as I gave your demons sanctuary to breathe.
And I saw them basking in the glowing embers of our fires.I loved everything you hated about yourself, everything you tried to hide and every sadness you’ve ever pushed yourself to survive.

And now, If I could put a thousand seas between you and my demons, I would.

I would, Sweep you off this surface and go dancing among the fireflies, swaying halfway through our lives finding ways to take what we always wanted in the form of things we always feared.

You,

just look at the fireflies always,
and don’t ever forget you’re adored.
I wanted to give you memories, unblemished by the facts of reality.
I wanted to be there and everywhere and absolutely nowhere.God, I should have known better than to have wholeheartedly loved a person as psychotic as I was.There we were, wilfully destroying the very fabric of each other’s souls. A cold war with both sides capable of completely obliterating each other. Mutually assured destruction we called it. Bearing teeth, talking up combat, two soldiers sharing a shield. Ice warriors refusing to shed their armours, unravelling in our own pride, having it end the fairytale of that one time we loved. What could ever be more dangerous, than an ice warrior with nothing left to lose?

I wanted to run away and yet I wanted to stay. I couldn’t decide which way to go because of you. 

I love you, but I hate what you do to me.

I love you, but I hate how fragile I am when it comes to you.

I love you, but I hate how you hurt me.

I love you, but I can’t stand how you lied to me.

I love you, but I hate how you I still waited for you to earn me.

I love you, but I hate that you knew.

Now,

I love you, but I don’t ever want to have you.